Motherhood is one of the most challenging duties in the world. Even a loving mother may commit errors that may have a negative effect on her children. If one considers the amount of pressure that is imposed on women, many are forced to make choices that may impact on the children for life.

Rick Belden defines the mother would as an “injury to the psyche of a child resulting from significant dysfunction or disruption in relationship with the mother.”

In ordinary circumstances, dysfunctions disruptions do occur. However, when such dysfunctions are complex and occur over many years, the effect may be long term. In many instances, however, many mothers may not be acting with intention to cause harm. Instead, they may be acting out their own wounds.

There are different categories of fathers: residential and present emotionally, residential but emotionally absent, non-residential but involved in raising the children, non-residential and uninvolved. All these categories have differing impact on personality development of the child. Boys and girls are often affected differently.

Very often, the father wound emanates from two phenomena:

• Commission – the things that your father did (committed) that caused you harm.
• Omission – the things that you father did not do (omitted) that caused you harm.

Just like the mother wound, the father would exist on two levels:

• Individual level: This refers to behavioural patterns that originated with your father that caused you consistent harm.
• Collective level: This refers to the collective pain caused by men. These are generally passed from one generation to the other.